always, around the new year i feel this surge of creativity. this hint of inspiration to write and to paint again. it must have something to do with all the time off from work. it frees my brain up to think about and to feel the energies that make me tick.
i really dislike nye itself, but what i do love about a new year is the chance for a clean slate. the opportunity to create new goals. 2017 was rough for a lot of people. it brought a lot of challenges to my life both personally and professionally. 2017 really, in all sense of the word, challenged me. it also brought so much love and sense of purpose to my life. it brought the decision to spend the rest of my life with the man i spent my life waiting to meet. the man that makes me feel incredibly loved, supported, and respected. 2017 really shook things up. i think when we get comfortable in life we tend to coast. we tend to forget about things that excite us and entice us, and it's hard to remember the things that we are passionate about. what i'm trying to say is that 2017 drudged up a lot of painful bad feelings but it brought a lot of people to life again and gave them a sense of purpose.
my new goal and resolution in 2018 is simply to be kind to myself, and this means a lot of things, and i'll list them out..
- stop insulting your body
- love and appreciate where you are in life
- know that you are intelligent (as i spell intelligent wrong about 3 times)
- trust your gut
- don't allow yourself to be bullied
- don't feel like you have to react if someone challenges or confronts you.. you owe it to yourself to gather your thoughts
- stop overthinking other people's possible actions, thoughts, or behavior.. you can only control yourself so stay peaceful and mindful
- work out simply because it makes you feel confident and good, inside and out
- be thoughtful about what you consume both physically and mentally
- know that you have a skill set that can't be taught
zach and i recently started leasing a car and now have sirius radio. we have been listening to a lot of howard's 'best of 2017' interviews and it helped me realize something that is both obvious but important. i learned that no matter who you are, how famous you are, what your job title is, how talented you are, everyone and anyone can feel intimidated by someone or insecure, or second guess themselves, and feel like what you have to offer just isn't good enough. i'm sitting there listening to these people who i see as confident, smart, and insanely talented feel less than and i'm like completely dumbfounded by it. but it shows me that i am not alone in my feelings and that as an outsider it seems crazy. i want, in 2018, to look at myself the same way i see other people. i want to see myself as a talented, inspired, smart, confident woman. i want to be my best self, especially as i enter into marriage. it is a process but i've been my best self once before and i can do it again. 2018 will be about self love and respect and i will enter in as i enter every new year, with optimism and love.